When I ventured into an Egghead store in Pasadena, Maryland to purchase my first home computer circa 1990, I had a choice to make. Would I be a PC guy or an Apple guy? The choice was far from clear….

If you’re considering drumming up any business or attracting the attention of a company to hire your talented little butt based on your posting at either site, let me just pass along three little words you so rarely hear about Web enterprises and their magical capabilities to solve any problem you’re having. Don’t. Do. It.

Less how. More why. Not you. The user. Now. Not later. Forget sticky. Think action. Clean. Not empty. Organize first. Design second. Expect accidents. Never assume. Always ask. …

That’s when I finally, or suddenly, “got it.” What the whole convergence thing is, and what it means, and why it isn’t here yet. Stages upon stages. Learning and experiencing and understanding. Where we are, is “not there yet.” Just as it took me years to get from 13 channels to Los Angeles FM to Air on a G String to “Tusk,” it will take a few more years to get to The Magic Box of Everything Now.

So let’s vote the bastards out. In the past four years, what have they done so far to make America a better place to live: Ruin the environment? (Kyoto Treaty) Check. Help big business liars steal from their own employees and stockholders and get away with it? (Enron) Check. Reduce the number of employed and become the first administration since Hoover during the Depression to end the Presidency with fewer people employed than when you went in? Checkerooni.

When Diane Keaton showed her tits (plural) in the motion picture Something’s Gotta Give, she received a nomination from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Science, AKA an Oscar®, the highest award within her chosen field.

And what would I want to get married for, anyway? Frankly, I think I’m extremely lucky not to even have the opportunity to be joined to the man I love, and show the world that I never want to be parted from him, and to live with him, two as one. I appreciate that my government and the people of this land believe my entry into wedded bliss will signal the end of humanity.

At some point, I decided “Fuck that.” What I was doing was trying to be the best possible guy for whomever I was meeting in order for them to fall hard for me every time. I had it in my head that I was not good enough for anyone and the obvious answer, then, was to become someone else, someone they wanted, someone extra smooth and funny and charming and, you know, sexy.