Possibly my favorite Kids in the Hall skit ever. …

One has the world’s best culture; the other, perfect weather. Both are dirty, defined by expensive rents, and full of citizens who say their city’s the best. A fair and balanced guide to choosing between New York and San Francisco….

O, Paris please Stop knocking Things off all the surfaces I used to think it was cute But it’s kind of annoying When I need to write something down Put all my pens are Under the refrigerator

Official transcipt of interview conducted with President George W. Bush and Vice President Richard Cheney by The National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States (also known as the 9-11 Commission), April 29, 2004.

Admittedly, if I was any good at a sport, I might be more interested in it and wowed by the athletic prowess of this year’s genetic misfit with his 4-foot flat-footed jump or her 3.5 minute mile or the rate at which his abnormally large heart beats that allows him to ride that bike around for hours and hours. But I’m not, so I don’t care.

Here I go again. If you want to see the real face of terror, venture into the online dating scene, my friend. Go ahead, pin your hopes on three pictures you took of yourself in a room with bad lighting wearing the t-shirt you’ve been wearing for three days and sporting a two-day growth of beard in the hopes it makes you look sexier, or more hunky, or something other than unkempt and dirty—and not Xtina Dirrrty, just plain old dirty.

You can, I have been told, grunt and moan and drool and snore and become erect if that’s what your body tells you it wants to do. It’s all good. I try, for the sake of those in the room with me, not to fart.

Evan Williams Locale: Noe Valley, San Francisco Occasion: Watching The Matrix on DVD at a friend’s apartment Approximate nearness to famous Blogger: 12 feet Activity: I was sitting on a couch, he was sitting on the floor Actual dialog: “Can…

Shut up and bend over.

So, we need a secret, non-obvious, non-verbal, seemingly innocent gesture that signals another gay person that your interests, though they may not be returned, at least will not cause you grievous harm. And we may also need a secret, non-obvious, non-verbal, seemingly innocent gesture in return because if you use the same gesture both ways, then you run the risk of looking like an idiot.

You’re the Prettiest Cat in the Apartment” You’re the prettiest cat in the apartment You’re the prettiest cat I can see You’re the prettiest cat in the apartment And you torture the flies just for me Now you’re running around…

So I’ve fallen in love with this extra cute and ever so daring tangerine Mandarina Duck rollaway.